Puff, the Magic Dragonfruit.

A couple days ago, after navigating through my arch enemy (Idaho Falls, that is), my little sister and I successfully arrived at Winco.

It is a magical place.

And something magical happened, there.

I needed to take a photo reference that day of some kind of fruit or vegetable or very very simple object. My teacher for "media experimentation" means business. He is starting us out on what he refers to as the "killer assignment."

That's ominous.


Basically, we have to take a photo of our simple subject. And replicated. With photo realism. Using oil paints.

Yeah, I've never used oil paints before.

But hey, what's the point of being an art major if you're not going to push yourself to insane measures and come out the other end of it being entirely sleep-deprived and starved and smelling like paint?

....Oh, there's also the part about achieving things you never ever thought you could....


But I digress.

There we were in the store. And what is the first thing we see? A solitary cardboard fruit stand holding lots of THESE:

Dragonfruit.

I commented on the coolness of them.

Laura suggested I paint one.

Some random man with long hair warned us that they were filled with an "excessive amount of seeds."

Hmmmm....

And so grabbed one, I did. Kept it safely in the child's seat of the grocery cart, I did. Walked across the warehouse store with the original one in hand to swap it with a new one, I did (because apparently children's seats aren't exactly ideal for keeping dragonfruit in pristine condition).

Oh, and lets not forget the part where the random long hair "excessive seeds" patrol guy wrinkled his nose at my dragonfruit later when he saw it in my cart.

How could he not see the beauty of it? *tsk tsk* Some people....


Well, I have yet to begin the painting. But the underpainting (fancy name for the first step) is due on Wednesday.

Wish me luck.

As for the dragonfruit, it is sitting in my fridge. I am looking forward to opening it and seeing what is inside.

Probably excessive seeds.

In other news,
I am currently in love with this little spot right here.

Desk in front of an open window.
A warm, stormy breeze coming to visit me.
A tree in all its beautiful spring-time wonder.
And,
(you can't see it too well in the picture)
a rather impressive sky of clouds and bright white sunlight.

Needless to say, this is pretty darn refreshing after a long hibernation from the Rexburg-arctica winter.
(I think that name should become official).

Basically, I am high on life right now because it has just been so spectacularly beautiful outside!

In fact, Austin surprised me with a little "mini date" on campus today after lunch.

You see, he is taking an "evergreen identification" class.

And you see, I happen to love trees.

This makes for a good combination.

He took me for a stroll around the campus gardens. They are pretty much the best thing ever during spring time. So insanely colorful! Not to mention, they have LOTS of evergreen trees.

And so we walked along the paths (and sometimes off of them) so he could show me the difference between spruces and pine trees. And how this one kind usually lives for 4000 plus years. And this other kind has needles that are green on top but white on bottom. And how there is one that essentially has rubber branches that you can bend every which way and it does no harm whatsoever to the tree. And how one of them is called a dwarf and it bounces like jello if you give it a little push.

Have I mentioned that he is the man of my dreams???

Well, he is.

And maybe one day we will have one of those Christmas tree farms.

Or maybe just a jello dwarf on our porch.

(Sorry, babe, I can't remember the common OR scientific name for it. I was listening, I promise. But lets be honest, the words that stood out to me most were inevitably "dwarf" and "jello.")


I should probably mention right about now that the "warm stormy breeze" very quickly turned into the kind of wind that makes a tree bounce back and forth as far as a 45 degree angle from the ground.

So... I shut the window. And am excitedly awaiting the thunder storm :)


Now, for some other random business and tidbits:

1. I think the phrase/title "business and tidbits" has extraordinary potential. Any ideas?

2. I still have a few blog posts/topics (the "summary" kind that I had mentioned a couple posts back) that need writing. Or... maybe they need a good tossing-out-the-window-because-school-and-work-keep-me-insanely-busy-and-there-are-too-many-NEW-fun-things-that-are-happening-that-I-want-to-blog-about-to-worry-about-the-old-stuff-anymore.

Um, that hyphenated word was considerably longer than I had anticipated. And kinda makes me cross-eyed (there I go again with the hyphen). But I invested too much effort to suppress the impulse to hit the space bar between words and type a hyphen instead.

So it's going to stay.

As for the blogs posts... maybe I will try to do little (keep in mind this word is up for personal interpretation) posts every couple days. Then once a week I can have "Flashback Fridays."

Yup, that sounds about right. Stay tuned.

3. Yes. School started. And so did work. And so did the perpetual state of messy hands (paint, clay, charcoal... they are my constant companions). Suffice it to say that being back is everything I thought it would be :)

Which includes "really really hard."

But honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way! Lets hope that mentality lasts further than just the 2nd week.

4. I am taking piano lessons. First time in years. Boy howdy am I excited. I begin Thursday. But I am wondering what my teacher will think of my "artistically messy" hands... I'm sure some of the great classical composers must have had messy hobbies, too.

Beethoven probably gardened.

Mozart, I'll bet, liked to fingerpaint.

5. I have officially lost my train of thought. Probably because that train has switched tracks to "homeowork and chores and general responsibilities."

But hey, the blogging ride was rather nice while it lasted :)

Last but not least, here is a little piece of my life last week:

Feet up.

In my "messy" clothes (no, I don't wear them all day. Just when I have to. Which is about half the day).

Munching on a nice, cool salad.

And enjoying a brief brake after work, before heading off to the ceramics studio to make an asymmetrical pinch pot.

Yup, life is pretty much fantastic.

Life in the BYU-Idaho Married Student 9th Ward.... or something to that effect.

I am PRETTY sure that is the correct name of our ward.

But there are a lot of components to that. And it has changed a couple times.

The point is, we live in an apartment complex that is just for married students. And so is the ward. Which means our wonderful ward is all snuggly gathered in buildings 8 through 14.

Which I think is AWESOME.

And so I feel like blogging about it a bit. It won't be clever or witty or even amusing necessarily. Just some simple thoughts :) I figured I should start being okay with less-than-stellar blog posts if I actually am going to have a chance at blogging regularly with all the exciting craziness coming up soon here.

So, let the imperfection and blah-ness acceptance begin!!!

When we first moved in, we were a bit... reclusive.

But over the past year, it has been AMAZING to see how welcoming this ward is. Even though it is quite turbulent due to the fact that each 4 months the old semester ends, the new one starts, and a TON of families move out, and new ones come to take their place... it is pretty darn impressive how tight knit things can get in a short amount of time.

Visiting/home teaching is a pretty big deal here. And it works miracles! It certainly has in my life. Talk about an amazing network for blessings: You receive simple service and friendship FROM others, which inspires you to then be that person FOR others. And the love just FLOWS.

Lately with all the families moving out, we have had so many opportunities to serve! And hopefully more will come as families start moving in this weekend.

As far as callings go, it didn't take too long before our meager musical abilities became known, and we were called as the ward organist and choir pianist (Austin being the first, and I the latter).

Ahahaha that was an interesting moment, seeing as Austin had never actually before even PLAYED the organ. At first it was extremely stressful for him. But now he loves it, and is getting VERY good at it.

I have absolutely love being the choir pianist... even though for a good chunk of time we didn't actually have a conductor. Yeah, that was interesting. But we still managed to have some wonderful experiences :) And NOW, things are really getting pulled together! I am learning new songs left and right, and I am so excited that this coming semesters I am taking piano lessons. I think it will help me magnify my calling.

Well, CALLING(S), actually.

Because I have since also been called as the primary pianist as well as the relief society pianist hahaha Sometimes people will ask if it seems too crazy/stressful. Not at all! I absolutely love it. First of all, the kids in primary are just so darn cute and funny. Not to mention, they really test my skills when it comes time for one of them to signal us to sing faster/slower by holding up the rabbit/tortise signs. Or louder/softer with the lion/mouse signs. OR when they want to sing "head, shoulders, knees, and toes," faster and faster and faster....

Needless to say, it gets interesting :) But I really do love it so much. Not to mention, it helped me to get out of my stage of "I'm not feeling 100%, so maybe I won't go to church today, or maybe I'll leave early." As sad as I am to admit that I was actually IN that stage for quite a long period of time, having a calling for each of the three meetings got me to really stick to BEING there. And now, I am super bummed out if for some reason I don't get to go! Callings truly are inspired by the Lord. He knows what we need. Even if it is in the form of a musical kick in the bum.

We are probably going to be sticking around Rexburg for at least 4 more years. And very likely going to stay in this very same apartment. Seeing the way this ward can become like a family in just one year, I am just so stinkin' excited to stick around and see things grow and evolve and be able to spread the love!

Hmmm... that's all :)

Artistic Endeavors... and what ACTUALLY happened.

Remember a few posts/months ago when I was SUPER PUMPED about all of my artistic endeavors? And how I felt like THIS was the time to dive into it head first?

Well, I actually have never been all that talented when it comes to diving.

And apparently that applies
to more than just pool time exploits.

My goal was basically as follows:

1. Make an etsy shop (etsy.com is an online art venue. It is a beautiful thing. Check it out!)

2. Fill the figurative shelves of said shop with all sorts of different kinds of artwork.

3. Sell the art.



Well... little did I know just how complicated that was going to be. I can't even begin to describe the numbers of hoops I had to jump through. I started feeling like a circus lion.
But a bad circus lion,
because I wasn't very good at jumping through hoops,
and kept getting burned by the flames.


Um... excessive metaphor aside, there were so many things to research, establish, write, plan, etc.

How to make a shop.
How the shop works.
How to figure out my shipping policies.
Just plain how to ship something (I had never even mailed a letter before, let alone packaged and shipped a canvas painting).
How to get people to come view my shop.
How to make my shop look pretty.
How to give good online customer service.
How to handle online transactions.
How to calculate the cost of an item.
How to manage my shop regularly.
How to encourage repeat business.
How to be unique (yes, there were many instructions on this one).

Each of these could have many subcategories. And they were all rather foreign subjects to me. Especially since I am still trying to figure out adult things such as "how to keep my apartment clean" and "how to fill up my car with gas."

Needless to say, I was in over my head. And as for my goal of selling at least one "something" before christmas...

well that certainly wasn't going to happen.

Lets remember that during this time I had my "falling off the face of the earth" moments. (If that phrase is confusing you, read previous post!)

And so the new year started. And I felt like I had NOTHING to show for my efforts. And not just with art, but with pretty much every aspect of life. Because truth is, I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that
I didn't have a job.
I wasn't caring for any children.
I wasn't going to school.

So... what on earth had I been doing??? This was even made worse when people would ask "so what do you do with your time?" And I'd basically have to answer, "Um, you tell me!"

And so I came out of that with all sorts of re-ignited enthusiasm! And part of that was art :) I have worked out all the little rough spots in my shop policies. I have gone to the UPS store and asked, "how do you ship a package?" I have created the artwork for my shop banner and profile pic. I have studied up on etsy business success strategies. I have made a brand new email account just for my art adventures. I am almost to the point of opening a new blog that focuses on artistic perspectives/happenings. Aaaaaand......

(drum roll please)

....I have sold two paintings!!! Both sales were to wonderfully supportive family members :) Which was quite the relief for me, because the idea of stumbling through all the little details of my first online transaction with a total stranger who may not be so patient with me... was a scary thought. So YAY for experience!

This rustic painting went to my grandparents in Texas



And this little beauty is soon to be on its way to my Aunt Cheryl



And THIS buddy is still looking for a home :)



And I have many piles of blank canvases cluttering my office floor, just waiting for their own splashes of color :) And even a few works in progress!

I really am itching to do SO MUCH MORE than abstract paintings.
I have pages of notes and outlines and doodles of exciting projects,
and goodness knows hundreds of mental files stuffed full of ideas.

But those will have to wait.

Because, for now, I think the most important thing is to just try to get this up and running, rather than experimenting with new things.
And what better way to do that than with my abstract paintings? They are simple to do, relatively quick to finish, I am decently good at it, I am getting better from the experience, and I absolutely have a passion for doing them!

Wood carvings, wind chimes, and stuffed animals can wait till later.

And so, even though I am not as far into this as I thought I would be way back in September, I am certainly further into it than I thought I could be after realizing how crazy difficult it is.

And I am happy about that :)



Want to see the shop? Go to mycue.etsy.com
dsaf

um... "dsaf" is not a word. But it's what happened when Austin tried to hold my hand while I was typing.

Anyway, if you go check out my shop, understand that it may not be too exciting at the moment.

Because I only have one thing "on the shelf."

BUT, just take a moment to check out the banner I made (the title picture at the top... that is actually a photograph of something that I made by hand; I even carved the wooden letters out myself!)

Also, you can look at my profile. That little profile picture is a collection of all sorts of my art "tools" laid out meticulously in a circle on my yellow-orange yoga mat. I took about 30 different pictures before choosing that one haha.

Also, you can look at my sold items and click through the different pictures. I have a lot of fun taking the pictures :) In case you couldn't tell.

So yes, maybe this isn't as exciting for anyone else but me. But lets just humor me and say that it is AWESOME!


I am so very happy for the talents my Heavenly Father has blessed me with, and how much joy they bring into my life! And I am equally grateful to my family members that have been so very supportive of me and my pursuit of being an artist.


More to come on the artwork, soon :)

A summary of the summaries that are to come of the somethings past....

Let's take a moment and decipher that title, shall we?

This post is to be a summary (or rather preview) of posts (hopefully) to come. Those posts will be summaries of the events/finding/adventures of the past few months. Since, you know... I kind of had some big life changes. And -- hypothetically speaking -- if for some reason your only insight into my little ol' life was via this blog, you would assume that I had gone from
being suspended from school

to being SUPER motivated

to, um... falling off the face of the earth....




Sorry for that hypothetical cliff hanger.

Truth is, there were many times that I FELT like I had fallen off the face of the earth.

But there were also many times that I had FUN.

And lately, there have been many many times that I have felt like I have quite the hold on this life of mine. And it is proving to be a fun, joyful, adventurous life INDEED.

And that makes me a very happy gal.

So in SUMMARY, you can expect posts in the near future about these fun, joyful, adventurous moments of mine. And maybe even some words about my "falling off the face of the earth" moments...

But ima try to keep it mostly to the fun stuff.

Aaaaaand.... lets cross our fingers that I will actually WRITE said posts in time before school starts.

Yes.

School. STARTS.

SOON.

But that is a post all in its own!

You can hop up and down in suspense until then.

I CAN DO IT! Oh wait, you mean... now???

A few keypoints to keep in mind here....

I am on academic suspension.
(If this is news to you, go check out two posts ago)
I am no longer allowed to keep my on campus job.

If the semester has already started, then the Rexburg Idaho job market is as nonexistant as the giant squid.
(by which I of course mean that it is existent...
but as impossible to find as it gets)

I am (not WAS, but AM) an art major.

My eventual goal with art (in a nutshell):
To learn a vast variety of artistic skills at school.
To teach myself even more variety of skills.
To start a small out of home business of selling my art.
Use this to benefit my family -
not just financially,
but spiritually as well.
Because for me, art is a
spiritual thing.

Thus concludes the keypoints and a nutshell.

Well... my brainstorming thoughts regarding life, family, school, work, and my own capabilites have led me to a realization that only took full form just earlier this day.
The realization?
That NOW is probably the time to get this art thing going.

(by now you may have realize that the "it" in the post title refers to art)

So... why now?

Because even though I do art in school, it is schoolwork.
And even though I know quite a bit, I need to practice. Oh BOY do I need to practice!
And even though I have people tell me that I could sell my art, I don't actually know anything about how to do that....
And because my attempts at easing my way in to this are thwarted.

They are thwarted by the simple fact that this endeavor of mine requires a really really REALLY big investment -
of time,
of effort,
of diligence,
and of willpower.

....and I mean REALLY big!

And today I am being real with myself: This is going to take as much - if not more - out of me as a full time job would.

Am I stopping the job hunt? Goodness NO! haha part of being real with myself is being real with the fact that a job would be so so very helpful at the moment.

But as I told Austin earlier, "I have the faith that some kind of employment will work out if it needs to. I will keep working hard towards it. But I am starting to realize that a full-time job may not be what this time right now is for. I am recognizing that this time right now is a gift - and it is probably the only time within the next few years where I will have this unique opportunity to fully invest myself into my art. I have known for a while that I need to do this, but if I keep treating it as a side-hobby, it's probably not going to happen. If I am going to do this, then NOW is the time."

And sssssooooooo....

ART.

Not just art, but making and SELLING art.

This will be fun.
And hard.
And crazy.
And enlightening.
And risky.
And messy.
And exciting.
And out of my comfort zone.
And a learning experience.
And very possibly, the beginning of something BIG.....

Wish me luck :)

I've got some research to do!

A Post with an Unintended Subject

Lets begin with a couple of flashbacks to the previous post:

"I know that my life needed this change, becuase already I am finding opportunities that I would have missed (more on that in further posts)."

"And for later, I hope to make a post each day. If each day I can get down even a small thought on any of the above subjects, then that will be enough."

Well... this would be said "further post," so I'll be discussing said "opportunities."
Also... I have clearly not posted something each day haha I had so many thoughts running through my mind at the time.

I wanted those thoughts to

settle down,

use their inside voices,

and line up single file from tallest to shortest.



And I thought I would be facilitating such order via blog posts.
And that one small post a day would "be enough."

Turns out ZERO posts a day was enough.



Because TURNS OUT (yet again), I have wonderful family and friends that have once again proved beyond supportive.
And my little vents here and there + ridiculously good advise + fun sisterly outings + generosity that makes me want to cry + small unexpected miracles like the grocery bill adding up to less than I had anticipated it would + goofy-but-wise emails from dad + family in town + eating more fruit (just trust me, it makes me happy) + lots and lotS and loTS and lOTS and LOTS of prayer =
I AM DOING WELL.

I left my hubby out of the above equation (in specifics, at least). That is becuase he is an equation all by himself.

Because sometimes he indulges me.
He gets me an ice cream cone.
Lets me have my lazy/emotional/hormonal/i am WAY to overwhelmed moments.
He picks out some movies for me and makes me some grape koolaid and sets up pillows and blankets on the couch for me to experience said moments.

...but then he always balances it all out with encouragement, by
encouraging me to go do something outside that day.
Reminds me that it is my week to do dishes.
Tells me when I should probably
get out of pajamas and take a shower
(lets not look into that one too much, okay? okay).
Asks me to drive him to school in the wee hours of the morning, instead of walking and letting me sleep in... because that way I am up and busy and more likely to get started on my day.

And of course, there are just the sweet little things he does that are not necessarily indulgent, but not necessarily pushing/encouraging.
They are just sweet.
Like giving me long hugs when he gets home from class.
Telling me he is so proud of me for what I've accomplished that day.
Or that hour.
Or event that minute.
Tolerating my occassional stress-induced outbursts, and smiling and saying "I forgive you" when I tell him that I am sorry.
Holding me when I wake up from a bad dream.
Reading to me a few pages from "The Hobbit" as I fall asleep every night (maybe you - reader - know me well enough to understand how giddy and loved this makes me feel!)

..................

Hmmmm... hadn't intended to post so much about Austin. But that is okay :) More than okay. Becuase random bursts of gratitude/love that need expressing are definitely more than okay.

In fact...
the intended post subject (those opportunities I keep referring to) is just going to come in another post.
Still going to write it right now.
But in a separate post.
Because I just like to categorize things.
So... this post in under the category of, "gratitude for family, friends, and hubby."
And now I am off to write the intended post under the category of, "work/art/opportunity."

You know.
You're basic categories.

Surprise! you're life is about to change drastically....

You know how sometimes there is something deep down that you know is probably true? But just don't wan't to acknowledge it?

You know how sometimes that "something deep down" is the reality that you should take a break from school and focus on other endeavors? Because your life has been pretty packed the past year or so? And you have so much on your plate that you're not really sure what to eat first? And that because of said circumstances your grades have been less than stellar and you're on the verge of being placed on academic suspension anyway?

....And you know how sometimes you get the academic policy mixed up a bit and didn't realize that an online course over the summer break counted as your last chance to bring up your grades and avoid said suspension, INSTEAD of the upcoming fall sememster? And you find out the week before school starts that you are being dropped from all of your classes and are suspended for two semesters and can therefore not keep your on campus job?

Or, wait... is that one just me?

Well, all that aside.
It happened.
And I freaked out.
But... only for about ten minutes.
Because I have the best husband in the whole wide world.

I calmed down, and came to acknowledge that truth that was deep down inside of me:
I need a break.

No, not from life. Not from responsibility. Not from education or growth. Not from working. Just... from the routine that has been the past while. Life has taken crazy twists and turns this past year. You know... engagement. Marriage. That stuff.

And EVEN THOUGH I felt like the fall was MY SEMESTER,
EVEN THOUGH I felt like the whole "bad grades" thing was out of my system,
EVEN THOUGH I thought that I would have a handle on the wife/job/student balancing act....
...that probably wasn't true.

Because even though I thought I knew what the road ahead was going to be like, I think someone upstairs could see that it was going to be different.

And this whole suspension thing that I have brought upon myself is probably the only thing that could convince my stubborn self that I needed to take a break.
(I use that word "convince" very loosely. Suspension doesn't really leave me any choice).

.................................................................

Okay.

I am having some difficulties.

I just spent half an hour trying to type an explanation of why I know that this circumstance is a good thing.

Why I know it needed to happen.

To explain my thought processes that I have had over the passed few days.

To convinced step by step that this is for the best and I am looking forward to it.

But... turns out that is a hard thing to do.
Partially because my thought processes are a little bit wild and random.
But mostly because this is what it comes down to:

I HAVE FAITH.
I know that our trials are for the best, even if we kinda mess up and bring them upon ourselves. I am happy. I know that my life needed this change, becuase already i am finding opportunities that I would have missed (more on that in further posts).

This time is HARD, but it is exciting and it is what I need to be doing.

So much I could say about so many things:
Family.
School.
Work.
Art.
Timing.
God.
Opportunity.

But I am seriously finding myself incapable at the moment to fully and adequately express my thoughts or feelings on any of the above.

And they all deserve adequate expression.

And so for now, I am leaving it at this: simply an expression that life is good and I have faith it will continue to be that way.

And for later, I hope to make a post each day. If each day I can get down even a small thought on any of the above subjects, then that will be enough.

Until then, moving forward :)