Surprise! you're life is about to change drastically....

You know how sometimes there is something deep down that you know is probably true? But just don't wan't to acknowledge it?

You know how sometimes that "something deep down" is the reality that you should take a break from school and focus on other endeavors? Because your life has been pretty packed the past year or so? And you have so much on your plate that you're not really sure what to eat first? And that because of said circumstances your grades have been less than stellar and you're on the verge of being placed on academic suspension anyway?

....And you know how sometimes you get the academic policy mixed up a bit and didn't realize that an online course over the summer break counted as your last chance to bring up your grades and avoid said suspension, INSTEAD of the upcoming fall sememster? And you find out the week before school starts that you are being dropped from all of your classes and are suspended for two semesters and can therefore not keep your on campus job?

Or, wait... is that one just me?

Well, all that aside.
It happened.
And I freaked out.
But... only for about ten minutes.
Because I have the best husband in the whole wide world.

I calmed down, and came to acknowledge that truth that was deep down inside of me:
I need a break.

No, not from life. Not from responsibility. Not from education or growth. Not from working. Just... from the routine that has been the past while. Life has taken crazy twists and turns this past year. You know... engagement. Marriage. That stuff.

And EVEN THOUGH I felt like the fall was MY SEMESTER,
EVEN THOUGH I felt like the whole "bad grades" thing was out of my system,
EVEN THOUGH I thought that I would have a handle on the wife/job/student balancing act....
...that probably wasn't true.

Because even though I thought I knew what the road ahead was going to be like, I think someone upstairs could see that it was going to be different.

And this whole suspension thing that I have brought upon myself is probably the only thing that could convince my stubborn self that I needed to take a break.
(I use that word "convince" very loosely. Suspension doesn't really leave me any choice).

.................................................................

Okay.

I am having some difficulties.

I just spent half an hour trying to type an explanation of why I know that this circumstance is a good thing.

Why I know it needed to happen.

To explain my thought processes that I have had over the passed few days.

To convinced step by step that this is for the best and I am looking forward to it.

But... turns out that is a hard thing to do.
Partially because my thought processes are a little bit wild and random.
But mostly because this is what it comes down to:

I HAVE FAITH.
I know that our trials are for the best, even if we kinda mess up and bring them upon ourselves. I am happy. I know that my life needed this change, becuase already i am finding opportunities that I would have missed (more on that in further posts).

This time is HARD, but it is exciting and it is what I need to be doing.

So much I could say about so many things:
Family.
School.
Work.
Art.
Timing.
God.
Opportunity.

But I am seriously finding myself incapable at the moment to fully and adequately express my thoughts or feelings on any of the above.

And they all deserve adequate expression.

And so for now, I am leaving it at this: simply an expression that life is good and I have faith it will continue to be that way.

And for later, I hope to make a post each day. If each day I can get down even a small thought on any of the above subjects, then that will be enough.

Until then, moving forward :)